Scott Monty | Timeless Wisdom

"What would be the kindest choice?"

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"Imagine what our real neighborhoods would be like if each of us offered, as a matter of course, just one kind word to another person." ― Fred Rogers</div>
 
 
Who's the kindest person you know? 
 
Someone who exudes "nice." Who is always willing to help without a complaint. Who offers a smile and an encouraging word. 
 
It might be a parent, a colleague, a neighbor, or a boss. But somewhere in your life there's a person who rises above everyone else with the level of kindness they show. 
 
How do you think they got that way? 
 
It's not by accident. 
 
 
One of the most legendarily kind people is Fred Rogers. "Mister Rogers," as he's known to countless children (and adults!) seemed to be the manifestation of kindness. 
 
His slow, quiet, and patient demeanor and his way of accepting everyone were indicators of what a kind man he was. 
 
But Mister Rogers the celebrity — who by all accounts was the same as Fred Rogers the man — had to work at it. Every day. He admitted as much in his counsel to everyone about what it takes to build relationships: 
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"Mutually caring relationships require kindness and patience, tolerance, optimism, joy in the other's achievements, confidence in oneself, and the ability to give without undue thought of gain. We need to accept the fact that it's not in the power of any human being to provide all these things all the time. For any of us, mutually caring relationships will also always include some measure of unkindness and impatience, intolerance, pessimism, envy, self-doubt, and disappointment."</blockquote>
 
Mister Rogers wasn't perfect. Neither is any one of us. 
 
This is why <a href="https://www.scottmonty.com/2019/05/the-need-for-serenity.html" target="_blank">reflection and tranquility</a> are so important as we determine who or what we want to be, in our private lives and in our public lives. 
 
It takes a great deal of practice and deliberation. The word "deliberation" is a direct descendant of the Latin word deliberare, which means to consider carefully. 
 
In the new film <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3224458/" target="_blank">A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood</a>, Tom Hanks portrays Mister Rogers. Now, if you know anything about the actor Tom Hanks, it's that he is widely considered one of the kindest people in show business. 
 
So much so that, according to <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/13/movies/tom-hanks-mister-rogers.html" target="_blank">a recent New York Times article</a>, a journalist who attended a panel suggested that Tom Hanks is just playing Tom Hanks, but “slower.” 
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"But the slowness of Fred Rogers — the un-self-conscious, considered slowness — was hard, Hanks said. It felt ridiculous when he first tried it out. He studied hours of tapes, because sometimes he couldn’t imagine that he was supposed to go this slowly… 'It’s a combination of procedure and behavior that was singularly Fred Rogers.'”</blockquote>
 
But there's something to that notion of needing to slow down. 
 
When you need to weigh things in your mind, you need peace and solitude to allow that to happen. And you need to choose deliberately what you'll do. 
 
Every day, we're faced with decisions that require our response: 
<ul>
<li>I need to give my direct report feedback or criticism about their behavior.</li>
<li>My children are misbehaving at school.</li>
<li>The business strategy we've chosen isn't working out.</li>
<li>A new family has moved into our neighborhood.</li>
<li>Someone made a tweet critical of me or my brand.</li>
</ul>
 
 
It's up to each and every one of us how we choose to respond in these situations. Every one of them involves some level of emotion, and it's easy to simply react in the moment. To let ourselves blurt out what we think needs saying. 
 
But Mister Rogers, in his deliberate, reflective way, at times like these, would ask himself one simple question that guided his response: 
 
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"What would be the kindest choice?"</div>
 
 
Kindness doesn't happen unintentionally. You need to direct yourself there. And in those quiet moments of reflection, consider how those on the other end of your response might react. 
 
If you're unkind or abrupt, what might they think, do or say? How might that further damage the relationship? How might that in turn hinder any progress you wanted to make? 
 
Kindness. Empathy. Patience. 
 
These are some of the tenets that guided Mister Rogers every day. And they can guide us too. 
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For the Curious Mind 
"There are three ways to ultimate success: The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. The third way is to be kind." – Fred Rogers</div>
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Can you teach empathy and kindness? Training adults in a loving-kindness-style “compassion meditation” actually makes them significantly more altruistic toward others. <a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_train_the_compassionate_brain">How to Train the Compassionate Brain</a>. (Greater Good) 
 
 
We should not fear tension; it's the lack of it that's a problem. Civility can mask negative feelings, while conflict puts things out in the open. The key is to have respectful disagreements — we can still be kind even though we hold differing views. <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2019/12/adam-serwer-civility/600784/">Civility is Overrated</a>. (The Atlantic) 
 
 
When you don’t trust someone, more often than not you never find out whether you should have trusted them. We learn more by trusting than by not trusting. Moreover, when we trust, we learn not only about specific individuals, we learn more generally about the type of situations in which we should or shouldn’t trust. <a href="https://aeon.co/ideas/the-smart-move-we-learn-more-by-trusting-than-by-not-trusting">We get better at judgment by trusting</a>. (Aeon) 
 
 
A Pittsburgh hospital <a href="https://www.wfla.com/news/national/hospital-surprises-mrs-rogers-with-babies-in-cardigans-on-world-kindness-day/?utm_source=nextdraft&utm_medium=email">surprised Mrs. Rogers with babies in cardigans and sneaker-booties</a> on World Kindness Day. A nurse crocheted sets of red sweaters and booties for all of the babies in the nursery that day. (News Channel 8) 
 
 
Why should babies have all the fun? Here's <a href="https://www.alpacaunlimited.com/mister-rogers-sweater-collection">The Mister Rogers Sweater Collection</a>, where all proceeds to to the McFeely-Rogers Foundation to be used in the development and production of children's programming. So you can feel warm and fuzzy. Literally. (Alpaca Unlimited) 
 
 
From the author whose story about Mr. Rogers ("Can You Say Hero?") comes this follow up long read on the wisdom of Fred Rogers: <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2019/12/what-would-mister-rogers-do/600772/?utm_campaign=the-atlantic&utm_term=2019-11-07T22%3A07%3A51&utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=social&utm_content=edit-promo">My Friend Mister Rogers</a>. (The Atlantic)</div>
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A Heart Replete with Thankfulness 
"Gratitude is the conscience of memory." </div>
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This week, I'm grateful for Fred Rogers. I never appreciated him as much as I should have when I was a child (who among us has?), but his lessons have become more relevant and more powerful as I've come to understand what's truly important in life. 
 
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
“I believe that appreciation is a holy thing—that when we look for what's best in a person we happen to be with at the moment, we're doing what God does all the time. So in loving and appreciating our neighbor, we're participating in something sacred.” 
― Fred Rogers</blockquote>
 
 
 
Recommended Reading/Listening 
"Let me recommend this book." – Arthur Conan Doyle 
 
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<a href="https://welcomeneighbor.podbean.com/">Welcome to the Neighborhood</a> is a Mister Rogers tribute podcast. Each episode takes us through an aspect of the personality of Fred Rogers, beginning with "The Kindness of Fred Rogers." If ever there was a guide for life, these simple yet profound messages ring true and provide everything a person could need. I like it just the way it is. 
 
 
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<a href="https://amzn.to/32FYjwN">The World According to Mister Rogers</a> distills the legacy and singular worldview of this beloved American figure. An inspiring collection of stories, anecdotes, and insights — with sections devoted to love, friendship, respect, individuality, and honesty, it reminds us that there is much more in life that unites us than divides us. 
 
 
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What else is influencing me? You can check out my <a href="https://www.scottmonty.com/p/influences.html">sources of inspiration</a> on my site or in the <a href="https://flipboard.com/@scottmonty/timeless-and-timely-kah5bsbuy">Timeless and Timely</a> Flipboard magazine I curate.</div>
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"What would be the kindest choice?"

"Imagine what our real neighborhoods would be like if each of us offered, as a matter of course, just one kind word to another pers...

The Case of the Missing Relationships

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The Case of the Missing Relationships 
"The good Watson had at that time deserted me for a wife, the only selfish action which I can recall in our association." – Sherlock Holmes, 'The Blanched Soldier'  
 
The online world, while exposing us to more people than ever, can also be isolating. <a href="https://medium.com/the-full-monty/the-dehumanization-of-social-media-119987b6fbb5">Social media has given way to anti-social behavior</a>. 
 
We owe it to ourselves to spend more time offline, doing the things that bring us joy and create meaningful connections with people we care about. 
 
 
Over the weekend, I traveled to Bloomington, Indiana, home of the <a href="https://libraries.indiana.edu/lilly-library">Lilly Library</a> at Indiana University. It's not just that the Lilly is in Bloomington; the Lilly contained the very reason I went there. 
 
You see, I belong to a literary society that is dedicated to Sherlock Holmes: <a href="http://www.bakerstreetirregulars.com/">the Baker Street Irregulars</a>. It's named for the ragged group of homeless children who Holmes occasionally employed to be his eyes and ears around the streets of London. 
 
The BSI established an archive and originally housed it at Houghton Library at Harvard University. An august and highly respected institution, indeed. 
 
But the BSI realized that its collection was more modern (and evolving) than rare. Kind of like Sherlock Holmes himself. The detective has always been part of popular culture, since his very origins. 
 
From the early 1900s to the present, people have put Sherlock Holmes in various situations and portrayed him in every form of media to date. And the Baker Street Irregulars, founded in 1934, have been there through most of it. 
 
The Houghton Library, as storied as it is, seemed to be a better fit for the likes of Samuel Johnson than for Sherlock Holmes. 
 
However, the Lilly Library had resources, a small but dedicated staff, and a number of Hoosiers who were associated with the Baker Street Irregulars, including CBS radio newsman <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elmer_Davis">Elmer Davis</a> and Lilly Library's first director, David Randall. 
 
And over the weekend, the BSI held an event in Bloomington to commemorate the opening of its archives at the Lilly. 
 
 
Stay With Me 
 
"Well, Watson, we can but possess our souls in patience." 
<div style="text-align: right;">
— "The Adventure of the Three Garridebs"</div>
 
You're probably wondering where this all leads. Everything I write — every story I tell, every image I choose — I do for a reason. 
 
But first, a little history. 
 
<div style="text-align: center;">
"These relics have a history then?"</div>
 
<div style="text-align: center;">
"So much so that they are history."</div>

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— "The Musgrave Ritual"</div>
 
 
The Baker Street Irregulars was founded in 1934 by <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Morley">Christopher Morley</a>, a journalist, novelist, essayist and poet. He reveled in spending time with "kinsprits" (a portmanteau of kindred spirits) and in his time founded many clubs. 
 
Morley was, as described by Robert Keith Leavitt: 
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"stout, lustily active, gregarious, busy, prosperous…and immensely popular. He rarely lunched with fewer than four people, and, often as not, with a group of a dozen or more. 
Among his countless fascinating traits was the habit of forming clubs on the spur of the moment. Any agreeable gathering of friends around the table was apt to find itself, halfway through the meal, constituted into a club commemorating, and usually named form, something pleasant-to-remember about the occasion." </blockquote>
<div style="text-align: right;">
(From "The Origin of 221B Worship," The Baker Street Journal, Vol. 10, No. 2, 1960)</div>
 
 
 
While I didn't know Morley personally, I feel like I would have been right at home in his presence. He was a collector of people, and he made each of his gatherings an enjoyable and memorable occasion. 
 
Most of his scores of clubs never had a second meeting. But three names managed to survive in history, and only one still meets to this day. The Grillparzer Sittenpolizei Verein (the Grillparzer Morals-Police Association) and the Three Hours For Lunch Club are two. The other is the Baker Street Irregulars. 
 
 
I first discovered that there were other people interested in Sherlock Holmes when I was researching a paper for an English class in the 10th grade. I phoned a local television station that featured a man who ran a Sherlock Holmes society and I interviewed him. Before I knew it, I was attending meetings of the group at Gillette Castle in Connecticut. 
 
His group was just one of hundreds of local branches of the BSI, and over the years I got to know other Irregulars from around the country before being granted an investiture in 2001. Each year, we descend on New York City for the annual dinner of the BSI, held annually since 1940. 
 
Members over the years have included Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Rex Stout, Ellery Queen, Isaac Asimov, Neil Gaiman, and Curtis Armstrong, among others. 
 
Going to those weekend events has created an extended family for me; it's like going to a reunion at least every year, with occasional events peppered here and there in between. 
 
And after some 25 years of attending, it's not the annual traditions but the relationships that have mattered most to me. 
 
 
 
 
People, Process, Technology 
 
“You really are an automaton,—a calculating machine!” I cried. “There is something positively inhuman in you at times.” 
<div style="text-align: right;">
—The Sign of Four</div>
 
During the event in Bloomington, Mike Whelan, the outgoing head of the BSI, mentioned that while setting up the archive and getting things in order with the libraries, something was missing. 
 
He said there was too much focus on process. 
 
Moving forward, he said, the focus would be on relationships. 
 
And isn't that representative of what so many businesses struggle with? Whether it's digital transformation, a new product rollout, or a change in strategy. 
 
We get so hung up on the system or tools we're choosing, the technicalities or specs of the thing, or the details that define our decisions. 
 
Any transformation, digital or not, is a combination of people, process and technology. In that order. 
 
We're usually so excited (or nervous) about a change that we try to nail down all of the details on the processes and technology. We can put them onto a checklist — as extensive as it may be — and we can visually run down the list to verify it. 
 
But people? Relationships? Culture? How do you put that on a checklist? 
 
It's quite simple: You don't. 
 
These should be established before change sets in. You'll want allies, supporters and cheerleaders that will be there to support the new process and help select the new tools. Having a culture that embraces change and promotes participation will make the transformation that much easier. 
 
It's akin to establishing fans, communities and awareness before a big campaign launches: paid media doesn't have to work as hard with a well-founded base. 
 
 
What am I doing to work on relationships? 
 
For one, I'm spending <a href="https://www.scottmonty.com/2019/11/the-ethix.html">less time on Facebook</a>. More time <a href="https://www.scottmonty.com/2019/10/serenity-now.html">reflecting</a>. Strengthening my <a href="https://www.scottmonty.com/2019/10/emotional-intelligence-and-ego.html">emotional intelligence</a> and helping other leaders with theirs. 
 
I'm encouraging more <a href="mailto:scott@scottmonty.com">email feedback</a>, phone calls, and in-person meetings. You know. Old-fashioned stuff. The kind of timeless habits that are more personable. 
 
While these may not be scalable, they are more human. 
 
Something that even that automaton Sherlock Holmes would have found…elementary. 
 
 
 
Future Tense 
“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it.” – Ferris Bueller 
 
 
An explosive trove of <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/facebook-internal-documents-executive-emails-published-six4three-court-leak-2019-11">thousands of pages of confidential internal Facebook documents</a> has been made public, shedding unprecedented light on the inner workings of the Silicon Valley social-networking giant, <a href="https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2019/11/facebook-sold-competition-quashing-as-a-privacy-move-leaked-documents-show/">including a false claim of privacy</a>. (Business Insider) 
<ul>
<li>My take: This isn't a good look for Facebook (again). Just another piece of evidence of Facebook's code of ethics as they try to convince us of their commitment to transparency.</li>
</ul>
 
 
According to a survey from Morning Consult, <a href="https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2019-11-05/becoming-an-influencer-embraced-by-86-of-young-americans">86% of 13 to 38 year-olds would like to become an influencer</a>. (Bloomberg) 
<ul>
<li>My take: We're doomed. </li>
</ul>
 
 
Uber CEO Dara Khosrowshahi claimed that the death and dismemberment of Washington Post journalist Jamal Khashoggi at the behest of Saudi Arabia's crown prince Mohammed bin Salman was a "mistake." [Saudi Arabia is Uber's 5th largest investor] He then compared it to Uber's self-driving accident in which a pedestrian was killed, saying, "<a href="https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2019/11/uber-ceo-downplays-khashoggi-murder-then-walks-back-his-comments/">I think that people make mistakes, it doesn't mean that they can never be forgiven.</a>" (Ars Technica) 
 
About an hour after the interview concluded, Khosrowshahi suddenly had a change of tone: "I said something in the moment that I do not believe," he said in a statement. "When it comes to Jamal Khashoggi, his murder was reprehensible and should not be forgotten or excused." 
 
 
<ul>
<li>My take: Uh-huh. It's strange how an executive suddenly finds a conscience when their communications team reminds them of what an ethical response should sound like. You're not still using Uber, are you?</li>
</ul>
 
 
 
For the Curious Mind 
"I have gathered a posy of other men's flowers, and only the thread that binds them is mine own." – Michel de Montaigne 
 
 
<a href="https://www.intellectualtakeout.org/article/secret-behind-baby-boomers-cultural-literacy?fbclid=IwAR3KiH-4YWLjyDF4ruBcvF-NMKGgTWkctGIe6OoCqzyvK3Qkkd6_spRc2ok">How Classic Cartoons Created a Culturally Literate Generation</a> should bring memories to mind for some of us. Opera, classical music, literature and more came to life for kids who watched Saturday morning cartoons. (Intellectual Takeout) 
 
 
Humility. It's an underrated personality trait. And yet <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/21/health/psychology-humility-pride-behavior.html">we need to practice humility every day</a>. (New York Times) 
 
 
Cave art has been found on nearly every continent. What does it mean? That our Paleolithic ancestors knew something we still strain to imagine: <a href="https://thebaffler.com/salvos/the-humanoid-stain-ehrenreich">our insignificance</a>. (The Baffler) 
 
 
 
A Heart Replete with Thankfulness 
"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others." – Cicero 
 
This week, I'm grateful for the many relationships I've forged over the last three decades in the world of Sherlock Holmes enthusiasts. So many have been supportive in <a href="http://ihearofsherlock.com/">my own little contributions</a> to the topic, and they mean the world to me. 
 
 
 
Recommended Reading/Listening 
"Let me recommend this book." – Arthur Conan Doyle 
 
 
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Very few people have read the 448-page Mueller Report, released to the public on April 18, 2019. Producers of Lawfare distilled it into a multi-part audio narrative series, <a href="https://www.lawfareblog.com/introducing-report-podcast-series-lawfare">The Report</a>, telling listeners the story of what is in the document. An essential listen as impeachment hearings open in Washington. 
 
 
 
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Cultural literacy—the grasp of background information that writers and speakers assume their readers and listeners already have—is the hidden key to effective education in America. In an age when so much entertainment and information is personalized, where will we end up without more shared experiences? <a href="https://amzn.to/2Xbmt04">The New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy: What Every American Needs to Know</a> helps fill that gap. 
 
 
 
What else is influencing me? You can check out my <a href="https://www.scottmonty.com/p/influences.html">sources of inspiration</a> on my site or in the <a href="https://flipboard.com/@scottmonty/timeless-and-timely-kah5bsbuy">Timeless and Timely</a> Flipboard magazine I curate. The above may contain Amazon Affiliate links. 
 
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The Case of the Missing Relationships

The Case of the Missing Relationships "The good Watson had at that time deserted me for a wife, the only selfish action which I ca...

UNLESS...

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Facebook's recent stand on political advertising and free speech have placed it in the cross hairs of the media. Not to mention their decade-plus-long drumbeat of: 
<ul>
<li>destroying trust</li>
<li>apologizing without really meaning it</li>
<li>steamrolling opposition</li>
<li>lifting product user interfaces from competitors instead of innovating</li>
<li>playing fast and loose with user data</li>
<li>gradually and almost entirely removing organic reach for brands</li>
<li>poor judgement in selecting News partners </li>
<li>insisting it's the responsibility of journalists <a href="https://www.facebook.com/CampbellBrown/posts/2389275207868167">to police lies in political ads</a></li>
<li>giving itself <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/04/opinion/facebook-political-ads.html">a special, unregulated power over elections</a></li>
<li>and <a href="https://www.scottmonty.com/2019/10/understanding-facebook.html">much more</a></li>
</ul>
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All of which have given me second (and third and seventeenth) thoughts about remaining on the platform. 
 
 
The challenges are multiple: being a solo practitioner, Facebook provides a connection to others — it is my water cooler; I also belong to and administer a number of groups that provide services to me and others, whether professionally or personally; it's where my extended family spends most of their time online. 
 
 
Facebook has become the de facto destination of so much of society: <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/04/10/share-of-u-s-adults-using-social-media-including-facebook-is-mostly-unchanged-since-2018/">seven in ten Americans are on the platform</a>. So to ask people to simply up and leave without a viable alternative is difficult: no one is going to leave until others have left and shown them the alternative. It's the chicken and the egg conundrum. 
 
 
I was having this conversation with someone on Twitter recently, about how someone has to make the first move. Then I remembered how Dr. Seuss expressed it in his book <a href="https://amzn.to/33sCrVW">The Lorax</a>:</div>
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The Lorax was an allegory about the importance of taking care of our environment. 
 
Last week, <a href="https://www.scottmonty.com/2019/10/understanding-facebook.html">I referred to St. Francis of Assisi</a>, the patron saint of the environment. He sought to understand rather than to be understood. 
 
In stark contrast, Mark Zuckerberg seeks to be understood rather than be liked, and is a digital arsonist of the online environment <a href="https://stratechery.com/2019/tech-and-liberty/">who answers to no one</a>. 
 
And it got me thinking... 
 
 
What if someone rewrote The Lorax as an allegory about Facebook? 
 
So I did. It's called <a href="https://smonty.co/ethix">The Ethix</a>. 
 
 
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<h2>
Future Tense</h2>
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“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it.” – Ferris Bueller 
We've all heard the term "fake news." I'm not talking about the kind of news that someone doesn't like; I mean intentionally deceptive or incorrect information. There are telltale signs to help you avoid it. <a href="https://www.npr.org/2019/10/29/774541010/fake-news-is-scary-heres-how-to-spot-misinformation">How to Spot Misinformation</a>. (NPR) 
 
My take: We swear that we would never share anything fake online. But we may have been duped, thanks to emotional involvement or simply looking to back up our position on something. It's human nature. 
 
The Mozilla Foundation published 28 "YouTube regrets" stories about how people who began watching innocuous videos were sucked into subversive and disturbing world. <a href="https://www.fastcompany.com/90416541/read-real-stories-of-how-youtube-pushed-people-down-shocking-rabbit-holes">How YouTube sent people down shocking rabbit holes</a>. (Fast Company) 
 
My take: Given the nature of video and recommendations, it could happen to any of us. 
 
Fifty years after the first computer network was connected, most experts say <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2019/10/28/experts-optimistic-about-the-next-50-years-of-digital-life/">digital life will mostly change humans’ existence for the better over the next 50 years</a>. However, they warn this will happen only if people embrace reforms allowing better cooperation, security, basic rights and economic fairness. (Pew Research) 
 
My take: I'm on the fence about this. It's the overly optimistic and idealistic view that got us to where we are with Facebook today. Can humanity band together to ensure the next half century is better? The jury is out. 
 
 
 
 
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Journalists don't have the resources to compete with Facebook's massive audience and powerful algorithm</div>
 
 
 
 
 
<h2>
For the Curious Mind</h2>
"I have gathered a posy of other men's flowers, and only the thread that binds them is mine own." – Michel de Montaigne 
 
With Halloween behind us, there might be piles of uneaten candy around your place (if you have kids). With some self-control, you can make it last; researchers have found that you can enjoy a piece of candy for up to 30 minutes: <a href="https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/the-physics-of-eating-candy-30374472/">The Physics of Eating Candy</a>. (Smithsonian) 
 
 
No one likes to be lonely. But there's a difference between being alone and being lonely, and <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/28/smarter-living/the-benefits-of-being-alone.html">you should find time to be alone with yourself</a>. The benefits are appreciable. (The New York Times) 
 
Bonus: Frank Sinatra's <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o64pFQzFHUw">"A Man Alone"</a>. 
 
 
We tend to think that people can easily tell what we’re thinking and feeling. They can’t. Understanding <a href="https://fs.blog/2019/11/illusion-of-transparency/">the illusion of transparency bias </a>can improve relationships, job performance, and more. (Farnam Street) 
 
 
 
 
<h2>
A Heart Replete with Thankfulness</h2>
"He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has." – Epictetus 
 
This week, I'm grateful to have a friend and colleague like <a href="https://customers1stmarketing.com/">Alex Hultgren</a>. We've known each other since my first days at Ford, and although we've both moved on, we not only remain in touch but are supportive of each other's work. 
 
Alex is a fractional CMO and not only have a very intuitive mind on marketing, but he's got a quick wit as well. And he's generous with his time and his ideas. Check out his site and his writing. 
 
 
 
 
<h2>
Recommended Reading/Listening</h2>
"Let me recommend this book." – Arthur Conan Doyle 
 
 
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<a href="https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/notetoself/about" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img src="https://gallery.mailchimp.com/4b1784f23a77243c11e9bc4b6/images/55f3a6fc-5985-4b9d-9389-64761d943d83.png" /></a></div>
 
 
<a href="https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/notetoself/about">Note To Self</a> is a fun exploration of topics around "trying to preserve their humanity in the digital age." Is your phone watching you? Can wexting make you smarter? Are your kids real? These and other essential quandaries facing anyone trying to preserve their humanity in the digital age. Join host Manoush Zomorodi for your weekly reminder to question everything. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<a href="https://amzn.to/32oySPk" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="https://gallery.mailchimp.com/4b1784f23a77243c11e9bc4b6/images/a3946733-f98e-4dab-a62e-4e456bc10351.jpg" /></a> 
 
A rallying cry for everyone tired of keyboard commandos and people who use speakerphones in open plan offices, <a href="https://www.jackasswhisperer.com/">The Jackass Whisperer</a> is your guide to dealing with the worst people on earth. Jackasses are those who make our lives needlessly harder. They're among us, and we have some bad news for you: if you can’t spot the Jackass at the (enter literally any place on the planet), then the Jackass is you. After a lifetime of research, Scott and Alison Stratten offer the definitive guide to surviving the Jackassery in your life and making the world a better place, one set of noise-cancelling headphones at a time. Check out <a href="https://www.jackasswhisperer.com/team">their launch page</a> for bonuses. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
What else is influencing me? You can check out my <a href="https://www.scottmonty.com/p/influences.html">sources of inspiration</a> on my site or in the <a href="https://flipboard.com/@scottmonty/timeless-and-timely-kah5bsbuy">Timeless and Timely</a> Flipboard magazine I curate. 
 
 
The above may contain Amazon Affiliate links. 
 
 
 
If you don't already <a href="https://scottmonty.us19.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=4b1784f23a77243c11e9bc4b6&id=05d7157b3e">subscribe</a>, now's your chance. 
 
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UNLESS...

Facebook's recent stand on political advertising and free speech have placed it in the cross hairs of the media. Not to mention their...

The Ethix

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This appeared as part of the Timeless & Timely newsletter. <a href="http://smonty.co/timeless" target="_blank">Subscribe here</a>. 
 
Facebook's recent stand on political advertising and free speech have placed it in the cross hairs of the media. Not to mention their decade-plus-long drumbeat of: 
<ul>
<li>destroying trust</li>
<li>apologizing without really meaning it</li>
<li>steamrolling opposition</li>
<li>lifting product user interfaces from competitors instead of innovating</li>
<li>playing fast and loose with user data</li>
<li>gradually and almost entirely removing organic reach for brands</li>
<li>poor judgement in selecting News partners </li>
<li>insisting it's the responsibility of journalists <a href="https://www.facebook.com/CampbellBrown/posts/2389275207868167" target="_blank">to police lies in political ads</a></li>
<li>giving itself <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/04/opinion/facebook-political-ads.html" target="_blank">a special, unregulated power over elections</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.scottmonty.com/2019/10/understanding-facebook.html" target="_blank">and much more</a></li>
</ul>
All of which have given me second (and third and seventeenth) thoughts about remaining on the platform. 
 
The challenges are multiple: being a solo practitioner, Facebook provides a connection to others — it is my water cooler; I also belong to and administer a number of groups that provide services to me and others, whether professionally or personally; it's where my extended family spends most of their time online. 
 
Facebook has become the de facto destination of so much of society: <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/04/10/share-of-u-s-adults-using-social-media-including-facebook-is-mostly-unchanged-since-2018/" target="_blank">seven in ten Americans are on the platform</a>. So to ask people to simply up and leave without a viable alternative is difficult: no one is going to leave until others have left and shown them the alternative. It's the chicken and the egg conundrum. 
 
I was having this conversation with someone on Twitter recently, about how someone has to make the first move. Then I remembered how Dr. Seuss expressed it in his book <a href="https://amzn.to/33sCrVW" target="_blank">The Lorax</a>: 
 
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The Lorax was an allegory about the importance of taking care of our environment. 
 
 
Last week, <a href="https://www.scottmonty.com/2019/10/understanding-facebook.html" target="_blank">I referred to St. Francis of Assisi</a>, the patron saint of the environment. He sought to understand rather than to be understood. 
 
In stark contrast, Mark Zuckerberg seeks to be understood rather than be liked, and is a digital arsonist of the online environment who <a href="https://stratechery.com/2019/tech-and-liberty/" target="_blank">answers to no one</a>. 
 
And it got me thinking... 
 
What if someone rewrote The Lorax as an allegory about Facebook? 
 
So I did. It's called The Ethix. 
 
[Note: in case you're interested, I previously did a Seussian parody called <a href="https://www.scottmonty.com/2016/10/the-last-straw-at-yahoo-or-my-bologna.html" target="_blank">Marissa A. Mayer Will You Please Go Now!</a>] 
 
 
 
The Ethix 
 
At the far end of town 
where the Internet accretes 
and the former social network competes 
and no birds ever sing excepting old tweets… 
is the street of the lifted Ethix. 
 
And deep in the Internet, some people say, 
if you look deep enough you can still see, today, 
where the Ethix once stood just as long as it could 
before somebody lifted the Ethix away. 
 
What was the Ethix? 
And why was it there? 
And why was it lifted and taken somewhere 
from the far end of town where the Internet grows? 
The old Zuck-ler lives there. 
Ask him. He knows. 
 
You won’t see the Zuck-ler. 
Don’t knock at his door. 
He stays in his Portal on top of his store. 
He sticks to his Portal, stuck under the tape, 
where all his gray t-shirts 
are in pretty good shape. 
And on special dank midnights in August, 
he peeks 
out of the Portal 
and sometimes he speaks 
and tells how the Ethix was lifted away. 
 
   He’ll tell you, perhaps… 
   If you’re willing to pay. 
 
From your Messenger wallet 
pay with crypto, indeed — huh — 
and you have to submit fifteen cents 
via Libra 
and GIF or a meme of a 
prison pony / zebra. 
 
 
Then he opens the note, 
makes a most careful count 
to see if you’ve paid him 
the proper amount. 
 
Then he grunts, “I will call you by Oculus Rift, 
for the secrets I tell can't be given short shrift.” 
 
THUNK! 
 
Down thunks the Oculus Rift through the night, 
and the old Zuck-ler’s apologies are less than forthright, 
since they have to come down 
through a process where each, 
makes it sound 
as if he had 
lawyers write up his speech. 
 
“Now I’ll tell you," he says, with his shirt looking gray, 
“how the Ethix got lifted and taken away… 
 
   It all started way back… 
   Such a long, long time back… 
 
 
Way back in the days when the Web was still new 
and the users were trusting 
and the ads were still few, 
and updates from Corporate Brands had wide reach… 
one morning, I invented a new kind of speech. 
And first I saw the trust! 
The Long-standing Trust! 
The naivety and hope of the Long-standing Trust! 
Mile after mile in the Internet dust. 
 
And as part of the trust, I saw Harvard co-eds 
frisking about in their Crimson spirit-wear 
as they played in the shade and toured Harvard Square. 
 
From the tired news sites 
came the regular flop 
of the Online News struggling, 
and trying to pop. 
 
But the trust! That trust!  
That Long-standing Trust!  
All my life I’ve been searching 
for trust I could bust. 
I can get them to part 
with the data I need 
and it will take years 
to be exposed, I concede. 
 
I knew the potential 
of what I discovered. 
I knew just what I'd do! 
I had to leave Harvard. 
 
In no time at all, I had built a small firm. 
From the Long-standing Trust I destroyed in one term. 
And with great skillful skill and with great speedy speed, 
I took all the data. I created the Feed! 
 
The instant I had finished, I heard a “For Shame!!” 
I looked. 
I saw something pop out of the frame 
of the ad I whipped up. It was sort of a man. 
Describe him?… That’s hard. I don’t know if I can. 
 
He was shortish. And brownish. 
And oldish. And nice. 
And he spoke with a voice 
that was sharp and concise. 
 
 
“Mister!” He said with a voice full of dust, 
“I am the Ethix. I speak for the trust. 
I speak for the trust, for trust can be broke. 
And I’m asking you, Sir, if you want to be woke” – 
he was very upset as he shouted and cussed – 
“What’s that thing that you’ve made out of Long-standing Trust?” 
 
“Look, Ethix,” I said. “There is no cause for alarm. 
I tricked a few folks. I am doing no harm. 
I am being quite useful. This thing is a Feed. 
A Feed's a fine something that all people need! 
It’s a friend. It’s a brand. It’s a like. It’s a share. 
But it has other uses you can't find elsewhere. 
You can use it for GIFs. For memes! Or a prize! 
For sharing the news! Or political lies!” 
 
   The Ethix said, 
   “Sir! You are crazy with greed. 
   There is no one on earth 
   who would buy that News Feed!” 
 
 
But the very next minute I proved he was wrong. 
For, just at that minute, a chap came along, 
and he thought that the Feed I constructed was great. 
He happily bought it for three ninety-eight. 
 
I laughed at the Ethix, “You poor stupid guy! 
You never can tell what some people will buy.” 
 
“I repeat,” cried the Ethix, 
“I speak for the trust!” 
 
“I’m busy,” I told him. 
“Shut up, you just must.” 
 
 
I rushed 'cross the room, and in no time at all, 
built a Beacon. I put in a quick call. 
I called all my uncles and Sheryls and aunts 
and I said “Listen here! Here’s a wonderful chance 
for the whole Zuck-ler Family to start a big rally! 
Get over here fast! Take the road to the alley. 
Turn left at San Jose. Right to Silicon Valley.” 
 
 
And, in no time at all, 
in the network I built, 
the whole Zuck-ler Family 
was working full tilt. 
We were all making Feeds 
as fast as we must, 
all while we violated 
Long-standing Trust. 
 
Then… 
Oh! Baby! Oh! 
How my business did grow! 
Now, losing the trust 
of one guy 
was too slow. 
 
So I quickly invented my Super-Ad-Trackers, 
collecting more data, giving access to hackers. 
We were filling Feeds 
ten times as fast as before! 
And that Ethix?… 
He didn’t show up anymore. 
 
 
But the next week 
he knocked 
on my new office door. 
 
He snapped, “I am the Ethix who speaks for the trust 
which you seem to be losing as fast as you must. 
But I’m also in charge of the whole User Base 
who connected your network to many a place 
and happily scroll through organic updates. 
 
“NOW… Thanks to your hacking their trust to the ground, 
there’s not enough organic posts to go 'round. 
And my poor User Base is getting displeased 
because they have ads and fake news in their feeds! 
 
“They loved being here. But I can’t let them stay. 
They’ll have to find friends. And I hope that they may. 
Good luck boys,” he cried. And he sent them away. 
 
I, the Zuck-ler, felt sad 
as I watched them all go. 
BUT… 
Business is business! 
And business must grow 
regardless of displeased users, you know. 
 
I meant no harm. I must truly did not. 
But I had to grow bigger. So bigger I got. 
I biggered my network. I biggered my fads. 
I biggered videos. I biggered the ads 
in the Feeds I shipped out. I was shipping them all 
to Instagram! To WhatsApp! To Messenger! To the Wall! 
I went right on biggering… Selling more ads. 
And I biggered my money, which made investors glad. 
 
Then again he came back! I was fixing some pipes 
when that old nuisance Ethix came back with more gripes. 
 
 
“I am the Ethix,” he coughed and he whiffed. 
He sneezed and he choked. He wheezed and he sniffed. 
“Zuck-ler!” He grumbled from his cloggity head. 
“Zuck-ler! You are killing organic reach dead! 
My poor Corporate Brands...why, they don't have free speech! 
(It's not really free when you're paying for reach.) 
 
“And so,” said the Ethix, 
“– please pardon my cough – 
they cannot live here. 
So I’m sending them off. 
 
Where will they go?… 
I don’t hopefully know. 
Google Plus is now gone; there's nothing else near… 
That will mirror the reach you’ve clogged up around here. 
 
“What’s more,” snapped the Ethix. (He really was mad.) 
“Let me say a few words about political ads. 
You take money for lies, while claiming 'free speech.' 
But your algorithm assures targeted reach. 
And what does it mean for this toxic place? 
You define deviance down for your User Base. 
 
“You're poisoning the place where the Online News flourished! 
But they can't combat ads; they're too undernourished 
To fact-check your lies, they need more resources. 
Without prime support, I don't know what the recourse is. 
I fear that we'll only be left with remorses.” 
 
And then I got mad. 
I got terribly mad. 
I yelled at the Ethix, “Now listen here, Dad! 
All you do is complain and say, 'The Zuck-ler is bad!' 
Well, I have my rights, sir, and I'm telling you 
I intend to go on doing just what I do! 
And, for your information, you Ethix, I'm figgering 
on biggering 
 
   and BIGGERING, 
 
      and BIGGERING  
 
         and BIGGERING, 
 
putting MORE political ads in the Feeds 
which everyone, EVERYONE, EVERYONE needs!” 
 
 
And at that very moment, we heard a loud sound! 
From outside on the Web came a sickening round 
of foreign involvement. Then we heard the trust fall. 
The very last bit of trust of them all. 
 
No more trust. No more Feeds. No more work to be done. 
So, in no time, my Sheryl and aunts, every one, 
all waved me good-bye. They jumped into a Lyft 
and left me alone, all bereft and bedrift. 
 
 
Now all that was left 'neath the wide-trustless sky 
was my big empty network… 
the Ethix… 
and I. 
 
 
The Ethix said nothing. Just gave me a glance… 
just gave me a very sad, sad, backward glance… 
as he lifted himself by the seat of his pants. 
And I'll never forget the grim look on his face 
when he heisted himself and took leave of this place, 
through a hole in the ads, without leaving a trace. 
 
 
And all that the Ethix left here in this mess 
was a small pile of rocks, with the one word… 
“UNLESS.” 
Whatever that meant, well, I just couldn't guess. 
 
That was long, long ago. 
But each day since that day 
I've sat here and worried 
and worried away. 
Though the years, while my monopoly 
has fallen apart, 
I've worried about it 
with all of my heart. 
 
“But now,” says the Zuck-ler, 
“Now that you're here, 
the word of the Ethix seems perfectly clear. 
UNLESS someone like you 
cares a whole awful lot, 
nothing is going to get better. 
It's not. 
 
“SO… 
Catch!” calls the Zuck-ler. 
He lets something fall. 
“It's a Trustworthy Seed. 
It's the last one of all! 
You're in charge of the last of the Trustworthy Seeds. 
And Long-standing Trust is what everyone needs. 
Establish some Trust. Be careful – pay heed. 
Give it attention, through words and through deeds. 
Grow a forest of Trust. Make it easy to earn. 
Then the Ethix 
and integrity 
may return.” 
 
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RowEFT0rPFE/XcCApK8Ig-I/AAAAAAABJJ8/L0iajhJ2pyo-pnIaEb36mBVeiSFNiICqgCEwYBhgL/s1600/Unless.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="924" data-original-width="1232" height="478" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RowEFT0rPFE/XcCApK8Ig-I/AAAAAAABJJ8/L0iajhJ2pyo-pnIaEb36mBVeiSFNiICqgCEwYBhgL/s640/Unless.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image credit: photo of a page of The Lorax (self)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
 
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The Ethix

This appeared as part of the Timeless & Timely newsletter. Subscribe here . Facebook's recent stand on political advertising...

Understanding Facebook

<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9bFmxEn5JgY/Xbma2XWzngI/AAAAAAABI18/9-l8u_yXNQ4RsCIIwahpZSYDuyL4xHXxQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/Giovanni_Bellini%2B-%2BSaint%2BFrancis%2Bin%2Bthe%2BDesert%2B-%2BGoogle_Art_Project.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1231" height="560" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9bFmxEn5JgY/Xbma2XWzngI/AAAAAAABI18/9-l8u_yXNQ4RsCIIwahpZSYDuyL4xHXxQCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/Giovanni_Bellini%2B-%2BSaint%2BFrancis%2Bin%2Bthe%2BDesert%2B-%2BGoogle_Art_Project.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a data-cke-saved-href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=22554501" href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=22554501" target="_blank">St. Francis in the Desert</a> by Giovanni Bellini, 1480 (Google Cultural Institute, Public Domain)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
 
 
 
<div style="text-align: center;">
"Learning without reflection is a waste. Reflection without learning is dangerous." – Confucius </div>
 
 
 I’m struggling with Facebook. 
 
Just as Facebook seems to be struggling with itself. 
 
In a way, that's a pair of evergreen sentences, isn't it? 
 
Five years ago, I had chronicled <a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.scottmonty.com/2014/06/facebooks-trust-problem.html" href="https://www.scottmonty.com/2014/06/facebooks-trust-problem.html" target="_blank">a list of transgressions</a> that Facebook had already racked up. In that case, Facebook users were unwitting participants in a scientific study. 
 
Looking back at that, Sheryl Sandberg's response should have tipped me off as to the kind of uncaring, growth-at-any-cost mentality we've come to know Facebook for: "it was communicated poorly," she said. 
 
Their defense ignores the lack of ethics behind the decision in the first place—they treated it as if the communication was the problem. 
 
But more subtly, look at the structure of the phrase she used: it's in the passive voice. 
 
Right there, you see someone who's unwilling to own the decision. 
 
Had Facebook been more forthright and sincere about its apology, she would have used the active voice: "We communicated it poorly" says the same thing, but the subtle shift in language implies taking responsibility for causing the harm. 
 
What made me think about this post that's now a half a decade old? 
 
In the past week, Mark Zuckerberg appeared before Congress, continuing to defend his willingness to allow politicians to run false advertising. In one instance, he was questioned about Facebook's willingness to allow such ads. His response echoed Sanberg's from five years ago: 
 
<blockquote>
"I think lying is bad, and I think if you were to run an ad that had a lie, that would be bad."</blockquote>
 
Again, look at the language: "if you were to run an ad" and "that would be bad." He placed blame everywhere but on Facebook. 
 
(Not to mention the lame echo of <a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uh7l8dx-h8M" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uh7l8dx-h8M" target="_blank">Mr. Mackey</a>.) 
 
I'm not sure whether we're dealing with someone who's simply naive, callous, or a sociopath. 
 
Perhaps it doesn't matter. 
 
What seems to be missing is a sense of emotional intelligence. I'll get back to that in a moment. 
 
 
<h2>
Growth at any cost</h2>
 
Facebook's stance on political advertising was already problematic. It's not a complicated issue; I shared <a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGgx1Eb6rqM" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGgx1Eb6rqM" target="_blank">a very logical and simple solution</a> two weeks ago. 
 
While this was all swirling last week, Zuckerberg addressed a group of students at Georgetown about free speech. In <a data-cke-saved-href="https://knightcolumbia.org/content/facebook-and-free-speech-are-different-things?_preview_=bbd0b5fd36 " href="https://knightcolumbia.org/content/facebook-and-free-speech-are-different-things?_preview_=bbd0b5fd36%C2%A0" target="_blank">a piece for Columbia University's Knight First Amendment Institute</a> and in <a data-cke-saved-href="https://twitter.com/jameeljaffer/status/1187415651650027520?s=21" href="https://twitter.com/jameeljaffer/status/1187415651650027520?s=21" target="_blank">a Twitter thread</a>, Jameel Jaffer put it succinctly: 
 
<blockquote>
"The remarks were revealing. What they revealed most clearly is that Zuckerberg hasn’t spent enough time thinking about free speech, or about Facebook’s relationship to it."</blockquote>
 
Under the guise of "supporting expression," Zuckerberg wants to abdicate Facebook's need to make sound judgments on content that its algorithm is responsible for. 
 
Zuckerbook [sic] knows exactly what drives clicks and engagement: among them disinformation, anger, and fear—things that rile people up. And any politician who's willing to lie and pay for it is welcome on their platform. 
 
Before we get into the "all politicians lie" or "who can decide what's true?" arguments, that's not what's the issue here. It's whether Facebook should accept money to amplify those lies. 
 
Jaffer continues: 
 
<blockquote>
"Facebook’s users interact and speak to one another in an environment shaped by Facebook’s interface, algorithms, and policies. What gets said is up to individual users, but it’s Facebook that determines which speech is amplified and which is suppressed."</blockquote>
 
 
Which brings us to Facebook's News section that just launched. A section that is determining which news sites get amplified or suppressed. 
 
According to Facebook, publishers that are included in the News section have to be part of its News Index and must also abide by the company’s Publisher Guidelines, which includes prohibitions against misinformation (as flagged by third-party fact checkers) and hate speech. 
 
The controversial alt-right site Breitbart is included in this list of publishers. 
 
In case you're not familiar with their brand of journalism, they have a record of running and failing to correct inaccurate stories and of disseminating misogynistic and white nationalist viewpoints. It's a site so controversial that some 4,000 advertisers have severed ties with it. 
 
Facebook wants to appear (and should be) neutral with regard to politics. That's a noble and worthy goal. But to do it by choosing a controversial site - one that is akin to the National Enquirer - and to place it alongside other more reputable sources damages Facebook's supposed objectivity. 
 
In <a data-cke-saved-href="https://twitter.com/mosseri/status/1188171203703271424" href="https://twitter.com/mosseri/status/1188171203703271424" target="_blank">a tweet</a>, Instagram-by-Facebook's Adam Mosseri asked "do you really want platform as big as Facebook embracing a political ideology?" 
 
Okay, I'll buy that. Although I do want your company to be vigilant about sites that traffic in conspiracy theories, disinformation, and disprovable lies. And to hold accountable <a data-cke-saved-href="https://popular.info/p/facebook-allows-prominent-right-wing" href="https://popular.info/p/facebook-allows-prominent-right-wing" target="_blank">companies that break the rules</a>. 
 
But Mosseri's response uses their scale as a shield: a big company like ours shouldn't be picking sides, he reasons. 
 
If that's the case, then why does a "platform as big as Facebook" also get to decide the news of tens or hundreds of millions of people? You can't have it both ways. 
 
Mosseri also wrote: 
<blockquote>
"I'm not defending Breitbart, I'm asking if you really want a platform of our scale to make decisions to exclude news organizations based on their ideology? Put another way, do you care more about advancing your views than preserving freedom for diverse views to be on platforms?"</blockquote>
 
That misses the point. It's not about ideology. It's about choosing trusted news sources (Remember "lying is bad"? Mmkay?). There are plenty of other conservative sites and voices that are trustworthy and would rise above this selection. 
 
It all comes back to trust (or <a data-cke-saved-href="https://techcrunch.com/2019/10/24/facebooks-news-not-yours/" href="https://techcrunch.com/2019/10/24/facebooks-news-not-yours/" target="_blank">lack of trust</a>) with these guys. It's their founding principle.<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eRBiGO1qxbY/XbmbSgUqA0I/AAAAAAABI2E/Srmq5D-sa5s_BzILDw4Y9tnOV8Mye0NLwCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/Facebook%2Btrust.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="457" data-original-width="600" height="486" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eRBiGO1qxbY/XbmbSgUqA0I/AAAAAAABI2E/Srmq5D-sa5s_BzILDw4Y9tnOV8Mye0NLwCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/Facebook%2Btrust.png" width="640" /></a> 
 
  
<h2>
Growth is personal too</h2>
 
Another Mark Zuckerberg quote stood out to me this week. In <a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.mercurynews.com/2019/10/21/zuckerberg-more-important-for-him-to-understood-than-it-is-to-be-liked/" href="https://www.mercurynews.com/2019/10/21/zuckerberg-more-important-for-him-to-understood-than-it-is-to-be-liked/" target="_blank">an interview with Lester Holt of NBC News</a>, Zuckerberg said, 
<blockquote>
“Part of growing up for me has just been realizing that it is more important to be understood than it is to be liked.”</blockquote>
 
I think Mark still may have some growing up to do. 
 
First of all, he's not really doing a great job of explaining himself. But more importantly, he misses an essential part of what makes an emotionally intelligent leader. 
 
In <a data-cke-saved-href="https://amzn.to/367WIlK" href="https://amzn.to/367WIlK" target="_blank">The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People</a> — itself an extension of Dale Carnegie's <a data-cke-saved-href="https://amzn.to/2XPfn5g" href="https://amzn.to/2XPfn5g" target="_blank">How to Win Friends and Influence People</a> — Steven Covey wrote:  
 
<blockquote>
"Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Seeking real understanding affirms the other person and what they have to say."</blockquote>
 
A simple phrase, but try to do that in the middle of any given disagreement you're having. 
 
Much more difficult, isn't it? 
 
We're emotionally driven. And hard-wired to see the world through our own lens. Covey acknowledged this: 
<blockquote>
"Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply."</blockquote>
 
Think of all of the years you spent learning: how to say the alphabet and count, how to read, how to add and subtract, how to write, the specifics of your chosen profession. But where among all of those years of education did you learn how to listen? 
 
Recently, we explored Beethoven and how <a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.scottmonty.com/2019/10/the-liberation-of-listening.html" href="https://www.scottmonty.com/2019/10/the-liberation-of-listening.html" target="_blank">his highly developed sense of empathy</a> allowed him to create music that still touches our souls today. Listening is the key to developing your emotional intelligence. 
 
It's also essential if you want to understand others—which must come before you attempt to get anyone to try to understand you. 
 
Which gets me back to trying to understand Facebook's decisions. 
 
 
Perhaps it comes down to keeping <a data-cke-saved-href="https://fs.blog/2019/10/ayn-rand-philosophy-matters/" href="https://fs.blog/2019/10/ayn-rand-philosophy-matters/" target="_blank">not just an open mind, but an active mind</a>. How is this achieved? 
 
In <a data-cke-saved-href="https://amzn.to/2WoWJ05" href="https://amzn.to/2WoWJ05" target="_blank">Philosophy: Who Needs It?</a> Ayn Rand—controversial figure that she is—counsels against  
<blockquote>
"a junk heap of unwarranted conclusions, false generalizations, undefined contradictions, undigested slogans, unidentified wishes, doubts and fears, thrown together by chance"</blockquote>
 
 
Her solution lies in reflection. Not just challenging others, but challenging ourselves. Not just listening to others, but engaging with them. 
 
 
How appropriate then, that during some reflection at church, I heard the hymn "<a data-cke-saved-href="https://wordtoworship.com/song/10782" href="https://wordtoworship.com/song/10782" target="_blank">Make Me a Channel of Your Peace</a>." 
 
The hymn, written in 1967 by Sebastian Temple, is a musical variation of The Prayer of St. Francis. And in that prayer, we see one of the habits that Dr. Covey evangelized: 
 
<blockquote>
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace: 
where there is hatred, let me sow love; 
where there is injury, pardon; 
where there is doubt, faith; 
where there is despair, hope; 
where there is darkness, light; 
where there is sadness, joy. </blockquote>
<blockquote>
O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek 
to be consoled as to console, 
to be understood as to understand, 
to be loved as to love. 
For it is in giving that we receive, 
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, 
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.</blockquote>
 
 
Interestingly, the prayer was written in 1912 and was not originally associated with St. Francis. It was through translations and a simple misunderstanding that, in the following 15 years, the two became intertwined. 
 
But here's where I think there's an interesting parallel with the kind of stewardship we need from Facebook today. 
 
<a data-cke-saved-href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francis_of_Assisi" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francis_of_Assisi" target="_blank">St. Francis of Assisi</a> is most closely associated with nature and the environment. In popular images, you'll see him depicted as surrounded by animals. In 1979, Pope John Paul II declared St. Francis the Patron Saint of Ecology. 
 
Given that the reflection above asks us to seek understanding before being understood, it's incumbent upon Facebook to try to understand the problems that people — including its own <a data-cke-saved-href="https://interestingengineering.com/facebook-employees-call-for-change-to-controversial-political-ad-rules" href="https://interestingengineering.com/facebook-employees-call-for-change-to-controversial-political-ad-rules" target="_blank">employees, who are now calling for a change to its political ads</a> — are having with its decisions. 
 
 
For Zuckerbook, the attention has been focused on financial growth and on trying to be understood, not liked. 
 
But maybe the attention needs to be on what type of environment Facebook is creating for society. 
 
Because right now, Mark Zuckerberg is a digital arsonist. 
 
 
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 Future Tense 
“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it.” – Ferris Bueller 
 
We've come to believe that much of what's wrong with the younger generations can be tied to technology. However, new research puts that assumption into question: as with any new developments, there are trade-offs. The new claim: <a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/social-media-has-not-destroyed-a-generation/" href="https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/social-media-has-not-destroyed-a-generation/" target="_blank">Social Media Has Not Destroyed a Generation</a> (Scientific American) 
 
 
The advertising world has seen a drastic change since the days of Mad Men (but then again, so has everything else). Advertisers are paying agencies less and consumers can pay to avoid ads. <a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/28/business/media/advertising-industry-research.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share" href="https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/28/business/media/advertising-industry-research.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share" target="_blank">The Advertising Industry Has a Problem: People Hate Ads</a>. (New York Times) 
 
 
Because marketing is so broad (and sometimes loosely defined), <a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.wsj.com/articles/cmo-titles-will-continue-to-wane-and-thats-a-good-thing-analysts-say-11572258781?mod=djemCMOToday" href="https://www.wsj.com/articles/cmo-titles-will-continue-to-wane-and-thats-a-good-thing-analysts-say-11572258781?mod=djemCMOToday" target="_blank">CMO titles are waning</a>, with other C-level titles taking their place (growth, experience, revenue). Expect CMOs to play a greater role in employee loyalty and attracting talent, engaging consumers in shaping brands and products, and more scrutiny on tech spending. (Wall Street Journal) 
 
 
 
 
 For the Curious Mind 
"I have gathered a posy of other men's flowers, and only the thread that binds them is mine own." – Michel de Montaigne 
 
<a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/the-7-habits-seek-first-to-understand-then-to-be-understood/" href="https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/the-7-habits-seek-first-to-understand-then-to-be-understood/" target="_blank">The 7 Habits: Seek to Understand, Then to Be Understood</a> is a deeper look at one of Covey's habits. (The Art of Manliness) 
 
 
Tomorrow is Halloween, and that means it's the night that the Great Pumpkin “rises out of the pumpkin patch and flies through the air and brings toys to all the children in the world.” <a data-cke-saved-href="https://daily.jstor.org/how-the-great-pumpkin-became-great/" href="https://daily.jstor.org/how-the-great-pumpkin-became-great/" target="_blank">The origins of Linus’s pumpkin deity</a> (JSTOR) 
 
 
From giving yourself the luxury of changing your mind to the power of generosity and building pockets of stillness into your life, Maria Popova has <a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.brainpickings.org/2019/10/23/13-learnings-13-years/" href="https://www.brainpickings.org/2019/10/23/13-learnings-13-years/" target="_blank">13 Life-Learnings from 13 Years of Brain Pickings</a>. (Brain Pickings) 
 
 
 
 Recommended Reading/Listening 
"Let me recommend this book." – Arthur Conan Doyle 
 
 
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 <a data-cke-saved-href="https://trideo.com/en/category/thewalk/" href="https://trideo.com/en/category/thewalk/" target="_blank">The Walk</a> is a podcast about health, fitness, weight loss, physical and spiritual well-being, and consists of reflections as the host walks along the Camino. Hosted by Father Roderick, a Dutch Catholic priest who was the Vatican's original podcaster. His other podcasts have combined the Catholic faith with pop culture, such as Harry Potter and Star Wars.  
 
 
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 One of the most inspiring and impactful books ever written, <a data-cke-saved-href="https://amzn.to/367WIlK" href="https://amzn.to/367WIlK" target="_blank">The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People</a> has captivated readers for 25 years. It has transformed the lives of presidents and CEOs, educators and parents—in short, millions of people of all ages and occupations across the world.  
 
 
 What else is influencing me? You can check out my <a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.scottmonty.com/p/influences.html" href="https://www.scottmonty.com/p/influences.html" target="_blank">sources of inspiration</a> on my site or in the <a data-cke-saved-href="https://flipboard.com/@scottmonty/timeless-and-timely-kah5bsbuy" href="https://flipboard.com/@scottmonty/timeless-and-timely-kah5bsbuy" target="_blank">Timeless and Timely</a> Flipboard magazine I curate. 
 
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Understanding Facebook

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Interview - re/think

Interview - Boston University

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