Scott Monty

When Narcissus Meets Dorian Gray

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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BYHhyNcOPMk/XTEm4mzRuEI/AAAAAAABGe4/jbfFW09GLdEa-7ONwFgLqYc8AgD-4kRlACLcBGAs/s1600/Ivan%2BAlbright%2B-%2BThe%2BPicture%2Bof%2BDorian%2BGray%252C%2Bbefore%2B%2526%2Bafter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="877" data-original-width="1350" height="414" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BYHhyNcOPMk/XTEm4mzRuEI/AAAAAAABGe4/jbfFW09GLdEa-7ONwFgLqYc8AgD-4kRlACLcBGAs/s640/Ivan%2BAlbright%2B-%2BThe%2BPicture%2Bof%2BDorian%2BGray%252C%2Bbefore%2B%2526%2Bafter.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<i>"In this world there are only two tragedies. </i></div>
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<i>One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it."</i></div>
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<i>–Oscar Wilde</i></div>
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If you want to get someone's attention, it's simple: ask them about themselves. </div>
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It was one of the most important premises behind Dale Carnegie's <b><i><a href="https://amzn.to/2JZsbMK" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">How to Win Friends and Influence People</a></i></b>.</div>
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And that's exactly what FaceApp did last week. It tapped into two powerful strains of human nature: curiosity about our own future and narcissism. It's as if Dorian Gray met Narcissus.</div>
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In <b><i><a href="https://amzn.to/2LETIWI" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Picture of Dorian Gray</a></i></b>, Oscar Wilde introduced us to Dorian Gray, a handsome young man who had his portrait painted. Afterward, he wished that he could remain the same age forever, but that the portrait would age. He soon finds out he made a Faustian bargain: he retains his youth but has lost his soul. The portrait, stored in an attic, takes on grotesque features as Gray embarks on a life of debauchery.</div>
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In the Roman myth, Echo fell in love with the beautiful <b>Narcissus</b>, who was desired by men, women and gods alike. But Narcissus, on seeing his own reflection in a pool of water, became infatuated with it and consequently rejected Echo. She then pined away until only her voice remained.</div>
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Social media has always fed the narcissistic side. We thrive on likes, shares, and comments. We hope to "go viral." We keep pressing the refresh button in an effort to get that hit of endorphins that attention brings.</div>
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In an image-obsessed culture—particularly one that values youth over age—many people maintain fine-tuned feeds of photos that flatter themselves.</div>
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So when FaceApp came along (again - this isn't our first rodeo with them), the lure was irresistible: upload a photo and see what you'll look like in 20 years. Many people fell for it without realizing <a href="https://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/security/a28424868/faceapp-challenge-security-risks/?fbclid=IwAR2tYjzgFXrj01tIbIM6Cvz31r1C5WbqaFg0xaZBhleXL4cLLh9HnrnQtc4" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">it's a Russian company with loose privacy standards</a>.</div>
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Even more terrifying: this isn't the only place it's happening. More likely than not, your data is for sale <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2019/07/18/i-found-your-data-its-sale/?utm_term=.a8d4f6ee8713" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">because of software you probably installed yourself</a> on the internet browser of your choice. It's likely that this kind of data collection is <a href="https://onezero.medium.com/is-faceapps-data-collection-any-worse-than-facebook-s-96153774575e" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">already happening on Facebook too</a>:</div>
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"FaceApp and Facebook are clearly two very different beasts. One is an opaque tech company operating under unclear privacy regulations and with little oversight on how it uses its technology, and the other one is FaceApp."</blockquote>
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The point is: we're warned about situations like this time and again. And yet <a href="https://amzn.to/2Y3MgGz" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">we still fall for it</a>.</div>
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Humans will always take the shortcut, if given the option. But unlike our ancestors or animals, we won't be vigilant about the wild boar waiting for us in the woods.</div>
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Especially if we're walking around with a phone in front of our faces.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OSysKjAOxQQ/XTEmvpIq-2I/AAAAAAABGe0/9ZYqimvlua0vSSCrMNcDmrzl0_XE5QgbQCLcBGAs/s1600/John%2BWilliam%2BWaterhouse%2B-%2BEcho%2Band%2BNarcissus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="913" data-original-width="1600" height="364" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OSysKjAOxQQ/XTEmvpIq-2I/AAAAAAABGe0/9ZYqimvlua0vSSCrMNcDmrzl0_XE5QgbQCLcBGAs/s640/John%2BWilliam%2BWaterhouse%2B-%2BEcho%2Band%2BNarcissus.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Echo_and_Narcissus_(Waterhouse_painting)">Echo and Narcissus</a> by John William Waterhouse, 1903 (Wikipedia - public domain)<br style="font-size: medium; text-align: start;" /></td></tr>
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When Narcissus Meets Dorian Gray

"In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it." –Oscar Wilde...

A Gift for My Children

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Have you noticed how quickly life moves? It’s nearly impossible to capture the totality of the daily and weekly cadence of updates we make digitally, and the clock keeps moving forward.</div>
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Currently, we create approximately <strong class="markup--strong markup--p-strong">2.5 quintillion bytes</strong> of data each day. That’s 2,500,000,000,000,000,000 bites. And 90 percent of data that’s been created has occurred <a class="markup--anchor markup--p-anchor" data-href="https://iorgforum.org/case-study/some-amazing-statistics-about-online-data-creation-and-growth-rates/" href="https://iorgforum.org/case-study/some-amazing-statistics-about-online-data-creation-and-growth-rates/" rel="noopener" target="_blank">in the last two years</a>.</div>
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Our digital musings are here one second, and gone in the next. It’s hard to keep track of your own content (even the stuff you maybe remember creating) when you try to search for it. Did I post that photo on Facebook? Or was it Twitter? No, wait — did I use Flickr? Or was it Photobucket? All of those bookmarks on del.icio.us? Gone.</div>
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The boards you create on Pinterest, the magazines you curate on Flipboard — even the blog you own and create — all of these will be a faded and forgotten part of your digital history, foggily known to you but completely nonexistent to your progeny.</div>
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At some level, we all want to be remembered. No one wants to live their life and feel like it didn’t matter. Whether you achieve something remarkable in your industry or raise an honorable family, you want your name to be in the minds and on the lips of future generations.</div>
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But with so much ephemeral digital effluvia, there’s no telling what will stick and what won’t, thanks to changing sensibilities, platform shifts, and more data.</div>
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<a href="https://amzn.to/2l9741y" rel="nofollow" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="1500" data-original-width="1500" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tuX31iGHSng/XSyJ_KbBHKI/AAAAAAABGa0/uM4cRmiCDY4rAqP71odqftAw_TmJrHXNACLcBGAs/s200/journal.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
With that in mind, when my first child was born — and for the subsequent two — I made a purchase that only grows in value each year. In addition to securing them their own domain names and Gmail addresses, I bought each of them <a class="markup--anchor markup--p-anchor" data-href="https://amzn.to/2k1STLr" href="https://amzn.to/2k1STLr" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"><strong class="markup--strong markup--p-strong">a leather journal</strong></a>.</div>
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Each week, I spend some non-digital time writing to my kids in their journals.</div>
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Aside from writing in a leather journal with a <b><a href="https://amzn.to/2lwz7s0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">fountain pen</a></b>, I make time each week to step away from WiFi. Whether it’s reading or simply reflecting, I get recharged by creating <a class="markup--anchor markup--p-anchor" data-href="https://www.scottmonty.com/2019/05/the-need-for-serenity.html" href="https://www.scottmonty.com/2019/05/the-need-for-serenity.html" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"><strong class="markup--strong markup--p-strong">moments of serenity and tranquility</strong></a>. </div>
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Serenity is a precious compound because it only exists in the present. It is fleeting. It is hard to capture in the imagination. It’s even more difficult to capture in daily motion.</div>
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Which brings us back to the journal.</div>
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I jot down thoughts, observations, and life advice. Maybe it’s something cute they said or a heart-to-heart conversation we had. It could be a passage from a book I was reading or an online article or quote that someone shared.</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong class="markup--strong markup--pullquote-strong"><em class="markup--em markup--pullquote-em">Request</em></strong><em class="markup--em markup--pullquote-em">: what are some sources of wisdom and advice that you’d recommend?</em></span></div>
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My goal is to create a customized handbook of life, with moments unique to each child and fundamentals that I duplicate across each journal. When they leave home, I’ll give them a journal filled with my handwritten notes.</div>
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Odds are they may think it’s a little corny or too sentimental when they’re 18 (or 22, or 25…). But this is a gift that they’ll grow to appreciate over time.</div>
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Who knows? Maybe they’ll start their own journals for their kids one day. If so, it’s a tradition that will catalog and curate our family values, and be a permanent record of how we lived while we were here.</div>
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If not, then at least the historians will be able to read some of my thoughts beyond Facebook, Medium and WordPress.</div>
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A Gift for My Children

Have you noticed how quickly life moves? It’s nearly impossible to capture the totality of the daily and weekly cadence of updates ...

Prolific and Pensive

<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xpxOOc1mcGg/XSyUeud8AiI/AAAAAAABGbA/u_PLC1ebkdQBrOkr3nLWbcPDB1gQc2IRgCLcBGAs/s1600/John%2BTrumbull%2B-%2BAlexander_Hamilton%2B1806.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1101" data-original-width="1600" height="440" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xpxOOc1mcGg/XSyUeud8AiI/AAAAAAABGbA/u_PLC1ebkdQBrOkr3nLWbcPDB1gQc2IRgCLcBGAs/s640/John%2BTrumbull%2B-%2BAlexander_Hamilton%2B1806.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_Hamilton#/media/File:Alexander_Hamilton_portrait_by_John_Trumbull_1806.jpg" target="_blank">Alexander Hamilton</a> by John Trumbull, 1806 (Wikipedia - public domain)</span></i></td></tr>
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I recently saw the musical Hamilton (finally!). Now I'm in the midst of the biography <b><i><a href="https://amzn.to/2XCBLP4" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Alexander Hamilton</a></i></b> by Ron Chernow. It's a hefty tome (818 pages!), which is up there with Chernow's other biographies of <a href="https://amzn.to/2XVIjb3" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Rockefeller</a> (832 pages), <a href="https://amzn.to/2XIse9h" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Washington</a> (928 pages) and <a href="https://amzn.to/2XIIqm5" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Grant</a> (1104 pages).<br />
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It got me to thinking about <b><i>proflicacy</i></b>. (There's a word for you!)<br />
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Chernow marveled at Hamilton's prodigious output, calling him<br />
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"[A]n exuberant genius who performed at a fiendish pace and must have produced the maximum number of words that a human being can scratch out in forty-nine years."</blockquote>
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He was a genius. But also flawed. His brilliance was the type that made him impatient, and he must have known his time on Earth was limited, as he ran roughshod over all who didn't agree with him.<br />
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Ultimately (and I'm over-simplifying here; this is a blog, not a Chernow-length opus), it led to his duel with Aaron Burr and his resulting death on July 12, 1804—exactly 215 years ago today.<br />
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It's taken me a few years and some hard lessons, but I've learned that even when you're the smartest person in the room on a subject, humility will get you much farther than ego.<br />
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There's nothing wrong with sharing your knowledge about a topic; but bringing others along and acknowledging their contributions is equally as important.<br />
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May your ego and proflicacy move in opposite directions.<br />
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Prolific and Pensive

Alexander Hamilton by John Trumbull, 1806 (Wikipedia - public domain) I recently saw the musical Hamilton (finally!). Now I'm in t...

Scott Monty - Strategic Communications & Leadership Advisor

When Narcissus Meets Dorian Gray

A Gift for My Children

Prolific and Pensive

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